About Me
Hello! I am Liam. I will watch your children so you can finally go to the pub in peace. Based right here in the Home Counties, I have a 100% success rate of not losing any kids in the local woods.
Services & Pricing
Basic Survival
I will ensure they are fed, watered, and still breathing when you return.
£10 / hrThe "Exhaustion" Add-on
I will chase them around the garden until they drop so they actually sleep tonight.
+£5 / hrHomework Help
Warning: I only got a C in GCSE Maths, but we will give it a go.
+£2 / hrThe Efficient Bath
I will bathe the kids and dry them using the shower curtain. Saves on your laundry bill!
+£3 / hrSugar Confiscation
I will locate and secure their secret sweet stash.
Free of chargePhotographic Evidence
Look at these completely legitimate photos of my babysitting expertise!
(Click the thumbnail to view full image in a new tab)
Happy Parents
"The children survived! What more could you ask for?"
"He only broke one vase. Five stars."
"Liam is present. The kids seem to like him and the house wasn't on fire when we got back."
Ready to secure your Friday night freedom?
Check my availability and reclaim your weekend.